All the News Thats Fit To…..Blech

In my capacity as a certified sexologist, it has come to my attention that I sometimes exceed my mandate to inform the public about interesting sex related news articles, including the guy whose wife cut off his manhood (hood and all) and the animal lover who tends to take thing too far with horses. I fully appreciate these reader cautions, but continue to feel passionate about my primary mission to remind people just how sick and twisted our species really is.

On the other hand, there is always another side to life. There is good in the world. Normally I let my sisters and extremely nice friends like Joede point that out, while I,CaptCliff specialize in the dark shadow parts. However, in this case I must also acknowledge and salute our brave men and women in uniform, especially at these precarious times. In particular, in the “penis in the garbage disposal” story this is exactly the kind of human drama that makes you fully appreciate fireman and the police. Apparently one of them reached into the disposal and pulled out whatever was left so they could send it along with the over-circumsized guy in the ambulance to the hospital. They “werent sure” if reattachment was an option. What? After a run through the disposal they might consider reattachment? What kind of weird looking appendage would they have possibly gotten from that? What kind of nickname would you rather have, “stumpy” or “the shredder”?

As for the horse whisperer who whispers more then sweet nothings….I like and appreciate how first he fed them lovingly from a bucket and then used the bucket to gain more height for his, um… “hobby”. Very clever. For us shorter men we must always use our heads first to make up for what God didnt give us. In this case, he was making up for what God clearly DIDNT intend us to do in the first place. Double triple “ewww”. Oh well, like I always say……it’s a weird weird world. Next up….the guy who breeds and hoards gerbils….internally.   Just kidding. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

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About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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