Capt Cliff’s Weird Rants and Raves: A Parody on Applebees and American Capitalism

The Applebee’s restaurant chain says it’s changing the way it serves juice after a toddler was mistakenly given a small amount of alcohol at a Detroit-area franchise. Apparently, news of the slightly sedated toddler has struck a chord among exhausted young parents who are now lining up at local restaurants requesting similar drink orders for their hyperactive tykes. Applebee’s has responded with a new line of “kiddie cocktails”, including a Barney Bacardi and Coke, and a Shirley Temple Black Russian. After numerous complaints however, the Bacardi drink was changed to a rum beverage with a non carbonated fruit drink that is less likely to cause tooth decay. In related news, Disney has taken notice of the furor and is also considering adding a line of child oriented alcoholic beverages at the Magic Kingdom. The soon to be marketed drinks will feature completely inebriated Disney characters on Mardi Gras style sippy cups……..

 

 

 

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About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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