Trip Advisor Review: Quality Inn, Augusta


I recently had the pleasure of staying at this unassuming and
longstanding (code for somewhat dumpy) hotel establishment near the Georgia Medical College campus. After a late arrival from Atlanta due to traffic congestion, I unsuccessfully attempted to use my
bogus travel agent credentials to obtain a reduced rate at two
crack-house type motels near Augusta's dilapidated downtown.

Besides the strong noxious smell of a local paper mill and/or a concentration camp/zombie crematorium burning nearby, I was struck by the general lack of any detectable urban development or progress in Augusta. The stores on Main Street are either shuttered,closed,or empty and there is an overall feeling of a distinct social dichotomy present, ie. "the haves and have nots" that permeates the downtown
and GMC campus area. Instead of modernizing, building and creating a walkable, safe and plentiful community, they appear more willing to change the names of the colleges repeatedly, add a bench at the Riverwalk or boldly open another Waffle House. If there is a middle class I think they have mostly moved to North Augusta just across the river in South Carolina and have hired Kurt Russell (dressed as Snake Plissken in the "Escape From ....." movies) to guard the interstate bridge and rest area with a shotgun, grenade launcher and pirate patch. 

Dont get me wrong, there are some quaint areas and unusually friendly people around. However, the (other) hotels late night desk clerks in matching wife-beaters and smelly looking jeans were not two of them. I much preferred the sleep-deprived guy with ADD at the Quality Inn. He was very nice, even tho he forgot my credit card and ID in the copy machine twice and almost slumped to the floor before handing me the room key. The room he chose for us was well-situated and right next to the fluorescent bulb lit vending machine room and laundry facility. If I was a meth addict or chocoholic with a major load of wash I might have really enjoyed an all-nite laundering session, but I was dog tired. Speaking of dogs, I think the bed might have had a few bed bugs or fleas, as I woke up  swollen and itching. I do realize this is a widespread and unusually difficult problem to solve and the Quality Inn may not have the technical means to totally eradicate such pesky pests. To be fair, the rooms were clean, very close to campus, and the tiny flat screen TV on the wall was serviceable. However I chose not to steal it because of its limited HD capacity and lower resolution.

In the morning we went to the lobby/lounge for the complimentary
breakfast. To be succinct, I would summarize by saying, “Stick with the waffles”. Im pretty sure the sausage patties were a form of human flesh possibly rendered and harvested from one of the nearby hospital morgues with some Jimmy Dean like flavoring added to fool those guests who are either gluten-free or not really into cannibalism. I know I am making this sound worse than it was. We didnt get robbed or raped on the premises or even at the so called “ghetto Kroger” closeby. I’ve heard we were lucky and it wasn’t a full moon, so the odds were in our favor.

All I'm saying is that the hotel is ok, yet probably unchanged since its inception. Augusta is the bigger problem. Clinical depression (as well as potash and various unnamed environmental pollutants) lay heavy in the air, and the police patrols in the area somewhat resemble a kinder, gentler version of South Africa during apartheid. I think they (Augustans) really need a billionaire with Trump-like vision and an inflated ego to adopt Augusta like a slightly smelly lemur at the zoo and make it be more than just a one golf "tournament town". By the way, the food sucked too.

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About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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